i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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