brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
