She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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