Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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