i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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