i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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