I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
