Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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