what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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