drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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