After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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