You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would ride that face into the sunset
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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