We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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