About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
