if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I supernannyed him into submission
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
