The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
