He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
