i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
