this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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