I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Houston, we have a blender
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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