He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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