at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
