I bet he comes in French.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am spending my child support on dildos
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
