Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sorry about my life...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
