so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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