We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
