the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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