I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
