Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
