I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
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yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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