I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
