I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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