I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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