just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
