Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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