dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
