I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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