sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
