Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything