Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.