she woke up with a sticky ear
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕