it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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