I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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