just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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