She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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