He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
