I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
