So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
