We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
