take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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