Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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