i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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