i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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