I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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