Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
