Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
