just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
