there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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