Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This house was built for laser tag.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
