we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
