i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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